Today, it’s easy. Today I’m grateful for my little girl, Vera. I’m so grateful for her it makes my heart physically ache… I remember that night, 3 years ago. The night I became a mama. I will always remember that night.
We just tucked her in. We read her a new story about fairies and elves and gnomes and dragons. It had beautiful pictures, and I watched her examine the pages as her eyes got heavier and heavier. She fell asleep on the last page, with her lips slightly upturned. Jeff and I just turned to each other and smiled, clicked off the light, and walked out quietly.
I’m so, so grateful.
(Don’t worry! She’ll get all three candles at her party on Sunday…)
You know, being her mother has not been without its challenges this year. She’s smart, mischievous, and a little bit of a hot-head. She’s also really creative and funny, she loves her little brother with a fierce energy, and she just makes me smile all the time. She makes me think at the end of the day- think about how to do right by her, how to listen to her better, how to raise her to be a strong and discerning and honest woman. She always teaches me about myself.
I went to the Vagina Monologues last night for the first time. It was awesome, and I think I’ll go back every year. The whole time, this little girl was in the back of my head. My little woman. I hope in someday we can go and try to fight the violence together. Anyway, my friend bought me a big chocolate in the shape of a vagina, the proceeds of which go to the local women’s shelter. Delicious! Anyway, I was saving it for later, and Vera found it. She brought it to me and asked me for some, and I giggled a little and said we could have some later. She tried to make a break for it, and I actually had to wrestle the chocolate vagina out of her little hands and stash it up high on the bookshelves. Ah, it’s the little things that make me smile so. She’s feisty. She always has been.
We’re still nursing. I wondered if I’d be able to gently guide her towards weaning by her third birthday, but alas, she’s still going strong. I don’t mind too much, though. I’m so glad we’ve been able to nurse this long. Even when it drives me crazy, it’s so special, and I see how quickly she’s growing into this kid. I’m just grateful for 3 full years of nursing her. It’s just good.
The other morning she crawled from her end of the family bed to right between Jeff and I, like she does early every morning. I’d just gotten done nursing Asa as she asked for milk, and I couldn’t help but groan a bit wishing for more sleep. She put her sweet little hand up on my cheek and said "Oh, Mama, I love you. You’re my family."
Well, I say, with tears in my eyes… I do love my little girl. What an incredible gift she is.