Gratitude.

I feel pretty grateful most of the time, I think. I have gratitude lists strewn about my house, literally (my dad makes these little gratitude notepads that I have a ton of). I feel relatively blessed in the life and love department most days, and yet I can’t seem to be grateful enough for it all. Yesterday as Jeff was riding his bike to work he slipped on a turn. I guess it was a combination of the rain, the low air in his tires, the distribution of weight in the basket, and the big huge fast turn he was making. Anyway, he flew off his bike and slid about 20 feet. So yesterday morning was spent at the hospital hoping that he didn’t break anything. He’s alright, amazingly enough, but he’s all scraped up (his left side just… owie) and his muscles in his shoulder are so bruised that he can’t even pick up Vera without wincing. He’s also not wearing his ring right now because that finger swelled up. He’ll be alright in a couple of days, but for now I’m babying him like crazy. I know it was just a fall on his bike, but I know the turn he was making. It’s a sharp turn with almost no visibility right after a road that’s 45 mph, so basically drivers slow a little, but are whizzing through and then get back up to speed. If there had been a car… I mean, I just couldn’t imagine. Yesterday at the hospital I had to keep banishing the little lump rising in my throat. He’s fine, he’s fine. I don’t know what I would do. I was worried that he would be scared about riding his bike now. I know that I had trouble crossing busy streets without adrenaline shooting through my body after I got hit by the van. He said he knows exactly what was wrong, and that he will just be smarter in the future. Thank god for his helmet. When I was a kid I never wore my helmet. I’d ride my bike around turns with no hands. Now… just fucking always wear your helmet. I love my Jeff.

June 26th:
Kind of a two-parter, a before and after… Jeff found this coffee table on the side of the road. It had chipped white paint all over it but had this great iron base. He lugged it home and sanded all the paint off. Then he refinished it to match the tv cabinet he made. I love it. It’s lower to the ground so now babies can’t crawl under it and bonk their heads, and it’s got two drawers in the side that we can stick the zappers in and magazines and whatever. It’s bigger, but I really like it. I was kind of sad about the old coffee table going, oddly enough. I had it with an ex. We got it for free from someone, and so I painted it. Then when we broke up I moved out and he stayed. He was a graffiti artist, and so he took me moving out as an opportunity to paint practically everything in the apartment. Most of it was mine, so when I finally had a space to move the stuff I had a graffiti covered table. I kind of liked it for a while, but I grew out its craziness and wanted a change. By that time I was with Jeff, and of course he took it on as a project. He stripped the paint off of it (which turned out to be an INSANE project), and then stained it, etc. It’s served me well over the years. Anyway, I guess it’s just weird to get “grown up” furniture. I don’t mean new stuff, but I dunno, it’s just different. So anyway, before and after.
 

June 27th:
Jeff randomly brought me a Black Eyed Susan vine. I love it of course. I’m addicted to plants.

June 28th:
Yesterday Jeff’s parents took him to the hospital and I just met them there. Afterwards we went to lunch and then hung out at our house for a while. Jeff’s dad had this library in a warehouse for like 20 years. The warehouse was sold, and so he had to move these mountains of books from the space back to his house. Anyway, he had these two full boxes in the car of “classics” that he was going to donate to the library. He gave them to me instead. I am so excited. There’s all sorts of stuff that I wanted to read for forever but never got around to. Now it’s at my fingertips! It’s cool too, some of them are pretty old and retro looking. They have that old book smell… Yay books.

I actually finished my birth story. I just sat down and did it. I’ll probably post that tomorrow.

I decided that, considering the profound importance of maintaining an attitude of gratitude, I will send, to anyone who wants it, a little gratitude list notepad, my treat. All I need, if you want one, is your address. Just message me or email me (gracified@comcast.net) and I’ll be more than happy to spread the love.

This made me smile a lot. Be sure to watch the 2008 video and click on the watch in high quality option.

Quote of the day:
“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.” -Gertrude Stein

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