Trusting the process…

Jeff and I are still in the market for a house. What a stressful process! We’ve only just begun, but I really feel like we are entering this crazy thing with open eyes. My dad set us up with a lender who really knows his stuff. He’s basically bombarded us with information so that we really know what we’re getting into and what we can reasonably do. Despite the craziness of it all, I really think that we will be safe and will have made the right decision in the end. I feel confident that we won’t be screwed like so many Americans lately. That being said, what pressure! I mean, to make the right choice… It’s like, the biggest purchase we’ll have made to date, and that’s crazy. I was thinking it’s comparable to getting married… that sort of "no turning back now" thing that you feel. But even so, in that case I had Jeff on the other end telling me how much he loved me. Is buying a house really going to be a harder decision? It’s just going to be a leap, regardless. It’s exciting.

It reminds me of what my sister and I refer to as "the bread aisle". I do all of my shopping at my local food cooperative. It’s a small building connected to the local bakery. When Jeff and I first went there we were used to shopping in big grocery stores, so we pulled out their mini carts and filled it to the brim. We felt self-conscious as the line formed behind us while we were checking out. It’s as if everyone knew we were "new". So as time went by we learned that they had less choices there, but more of what we wanted. Bulk herbs and flour and beans, organic local produce, a small little frozen section, pasta and bread- basically everything I need to have a fully stocked kitchen. Just, not an insane amount of choice. I learned that this is the way that I want it. I started shopping differently. Not in this desperate "fill the cart" kind of way, buy in a way that was purely based on need. The store is a pleasant place, where people know our names, and we don’t mind going there several times a week for an onion or a loaf of bread or some butter. Lovely way to shop.
The next times I went to a grocery store (usually for something random and silly like food coloring for easter or something) it was like a superstore. There’s beeping and enormous carts and aisles and aisles of JUNK. I mean, food choices that are just crazy to me. Like, they have cheese filled meat nuggets and individually wrapped yogurt tubes. I mean, food choices that are just unnecessary and crazy once you are away from it all for a while.Then there’s the bread aisle. Everyone needs bread, right? But what kind? There’s white, wheat, rye, pumpernickel, multi-grain, raisin, french, etc. Then there’s about 20 different brands of each. These all form a massive wall which seems to have materialized from a relatively simple request for toast. And here’s where it strikes me, every time, that perhaps these choices are not choices at all. They serve to confuse and create need where there is none. It’s false choice. Every time I walk into a big store I see something that I want, but didn’t know I wanted going in. What I really want is to be nourished and to enjoy what I eat, not to have my head spinning every time I want to buy some bread. Anyway, no knocking those that like that many choices, I guess I’m just saying I think there is this voice built inside of me that tells me to keep things simple. And yet, when it comes to buying a house I’m not sure that we can keep it as simple as I’d like. I think we have to shop, to really know what we are getting. I guess it kind of feels like I’m forced to read the ingredient lists on all of the different kinds of bread before I can buy one. My solution is to say to myself over and over again "trust the process, Grace, trust that everything is happening the way that it should."

Ah peace. I feel better already.

Nov. 13th:
You know, as she’s becoming more and more mobile, I’ve really learned how to pick my battles. On this particular night, I remember thinking "Oh no! She’s getting into all the tupperware!" and then immediately thinking "Meh, it’ll be fun for her and I’ll just clean it up later." And you know what? I totally cleaned it up in about 10 seconds after she’d moved on.

Nov. 14th:
Flannel is on sale, and I have some projects that need doing, so here are some new fun prints I got. The bottom one is owls, although you can’t really see it from here.

Nov. 15th:
Quiche. There’s nothing like a good quiche for dinner. Just throw together whatever you have leftover in your fridge- and yum! One of the most satisfying leftover meals, I’d say. Also, Jeff is so cute because he thinks of it as his specialty now. He does make a damn good quiche…

Nov. 16th:
Who’d have thought that diapers could be so pretty?

Nov. 17th:
I made a really quick, REALLY delicious thai hot and sour soup. It took me about five minutes to make, and I am in love. YUM.

Nov. 18th:
It was time for another mom-Vera photo shoot. So we played around. I’m cutting my hair this weekend… goodbye hair.



Quote of the day:
"I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much." -Mother Teresa


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