Trusting the process…
Jeff and I are still in the market for a house. What a stressful process! We’ve only just begun, but I really feel like we are entering this crazy thing with open eyes. My dad set us up with a lender who really knows his stuff. He’s basically bombarded us with information so that we really know what we’re getting into and what we can reasonably do. Despite the craziness of it all, I really think that we will be safe and will have made the right decision in the end. I feel confident that we won’t be screwed like so many Americans lately. That being said, what pressure! I mean, to make the right choice… It’s like, the biggest purchase we’ll have made to date, and that’s crazy. I was thinking it’s comparable to getting married… that sort of "no turning back now" thing that you feel. But even so, in that case I had Jeff on the other end telling me how much he loved me. Is buying a house really going to be a harder decision? It’s just going to be a leap, regardless. It’s exciting.
It reminds me of what my sister and I refer to as "the bread aisle". I do all of my shopping at my local food cooperative. It’s a small building connected to the local bakery. When Jeff and I first went there we were used to shopping in big grocery stores, so we pulled out their mini carts and filled it to the brim. We felt self-conscious as the line formed behind us while we were checking out. It’s as if everyone knew we were "new". So as time went by we learned that they had less choices there, but more of what we wanted. Bulk herbs and flour and beans, organic local produce, a small little frozen section, pasta and bread- basically everything I need to have a fully stocked kitchen. Just, not an insane amount of choice. I learned that this is the way that I want it. I started shopping differently. Not in this desperate "fill the cart" kind of way, buy in a way that was purely based on need. The store is a pleasant place, where people know our names, and we don’t mind going there several times a week for an onion or a loaf of bread or some butter. Lovely way to shop.
The next times I went to a grocery store (usually for something random and silly like food coloring for easter or something) it was like a superstore. There’s beeping and enormous carts and aisles and aisles of JUNK. I mean, food choices that are just crazy to me. Like, they have cheese filled meat nuggets and individually wrapped yogurt tubes. I mean, food choices that are just unnecessary and crazy once you are away from it all for a while.Then there’s the bread aisle. Everyone needs bread, right? But what kind? There’s white, wheat, rye, pumpernickel, multi-grain, raisin, french, etc. Then there’s about 20 different brands of each. These all form a massive wall which seems to have materialized from a relatively simple request for toast. And here’s where it strikes me, every time, that perhaps these choices are not choices at all. They serve to confuse and create need where there is none. It’s false choice. Every time I walk into a big store I see something that I want, but didn’t know I wanted going in. What I really want is to be nourished and to enjoy what I eat, not to have my head spinning every time I want to buy some bread. Anyway, no knocking those that like that many choices, I guess I’m just saying I think there is this voice built inside of me that tells me to keep things simple. And yet, when it comes to buying a house I’m not sure that we can keep it as simple as I’d like. I think we have to shop, to really know what we are getting. I guess it kind of feels like I’m forced to read the ingredient lists on all of the different kinds of bread before I can buy one. My solution is to say to myself over and over again "trust the process, Grace, trust that everything is happening the way that it should."
Ah peace. I feel better already.
Nov. 13th:
You know, as she’s becoming more and more mobile, I’ve really learned how to pick my battles. On this particular night, I remember thinking "Oh no! She’s getting into all the tupperware!" and then immediately thinking "Meh, it’ll be fun for her and I’ll just clean it up later." And you know what? I totally cleaned it up in about 10 seconds after she’d moved on.
Nov. 14th:
Flannel is on sale, and I have some projects that need doing, so here are some new fun prints I got. The bottom one is owls, although you can’t really see it from here.
Nov. 15th:
Quiche. There’s nothing like a good quiche for dinner. Just throw together whatever you have leftover in your fridge- and yum! One of the most satisfying leftover meals, I’d say. Also, Jeff is so cute because he thinks of it as his specialty now. He does make a damn good quiche…
Nov. 16th:
Who’d have thought that diapers could be so pretty? 
Nov. 17th:
I made a really quick, REALLY delicious thai hot and sour soup. It took me about five minutes to make, and I am in love. YUM.
Nov. 18th:
It was time for another mom-Vera photo shoot. So we played around. I’m cutting my hair this weekend… goodbye hair.
Bonus:
Quote of the day:
"I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much." -Mother Teresa
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You’ll have so many options of houses to buy. I can’t believe the prices on some of them around here. You can buy a 5 bed/3 bath 2145 sq. ft house for under 115k!
I know! It’s really kind of amazing. We are looking at one house that is PERFECT for us- sold for 200k two years ago- now priced at 60k. It’s kind of sad, but it’s the only reason we’d be able to get this great house. So, we’re really shooting for it and we might be in by the end of the year! Crazy…
Yay! That’s awesome! 🙂
Oh, that quote. It just reaches inside of me and twirls everything around. I’m sure you’ve felt that before– you read something and it applies to you at that moment SO MUCH.
Best of luck on the house hunting! It’s always so much fun to go to all these places and imagine yourself and your family in them, living and working there and all your things filling up the rooms…
My advice would be to just take your time. You’ll find the perfect place for you that fits your lifestyle. Of course, you may find a lot of places that ‘almost’ fit your life and then it gets into a tough decision.
It’s exciting though! 🙂 Yay!
YES! I’m so glad that quote did it for you. What an exciting time this must be for you. Soak it up!
Thanks, yes, it’s a little stressful though. Just so much to think about! I’m having fun regardless.
What a different housing market than we faced 5 years ago. Back then you literally had about 3 days to put in an offer from the time it went on the market. By the time our house closed a month later, our realtor told us it had appreciated $12,000. Your situation is going to be the exact opposite, you’ll have plenty of time to look around, but you have to be willing to accept that your house may go down a little in value before it goes back up.
Your shopping analogy is probably more accurate than you realize. We all “want” our dream home with all the extras, but what we “need” is a place to call our own that gets us out of the renting cycle. I could give you a 20 page list of things that I would want different in a place to live, but I also think we made the best choice out of all the houses that we looked at.
Our house isn’t prime rib with expensive wine, it’s more like meatloaf served with sauteed veggies, mashed potatoes, homemade bread and some fresh juice. It’s not fancy, but it’s comfortable, and probably provides more nourishment than the fancier choices.
I like the idea about getting a “nourishing” house.
Thanks for this comment. I really like thinking about it like this. I feel like keeping these words in mind throughout this process will be really helpful. So wise!
Vera is so big! And you look gorgeous. And…now I want some quiche.
Good luck house hunting! I can’t wait to visit you in your own house with a huge garden in the back yard.
Aw thanks! Yes, come have some quiche. Next time you come I’ll have all the meals set for us- except for the one night that you’re making root veggie casserole. Mmmmmm.
I have visions of it already…
yum, root veggie casserole… Now I want to make some.
Good luck on the house finding! I’m sure you guys will take your time and really find the one you want. Those flannels look great! I really like the stripes! Love the diaper pictures, cloth diapers are so great. and i loooovee the mama-daughter photo shoot! so cute!
Also, how much hair are you cutting off?
Thanks! Um… I’m not totally sure, but I’m donating so I think that means at least a foot. So, it’ll be shorter! I’m excited, I have too much anyway, and ever since having a kid I pretty much just tie it back all the time. Bleh. YOU have to show pictures of your new hair! (or lack of it!) Yay!
Sweet! I know for locks of love you need at least 10 inches. I remember when i had really really long hair like what..6 years ago?? and i cut it off to my shoulders because all i did was put it up. and now, i can’t even fathom having that much hair!! haha. I’ll take pictures of the shaved-ness soon! 😀
good luck on the house hunt! It’s stressful but so much fun and you and jeff are SO handy! i love those flannels, where did you get them?
i’ve never mad a quiche…does jeff give lessons? it looks AMAZING!
Oh, I got them at JoAnn’s- they are all half off! Anyway, one of those new exceptions for making things that will counter that impact…
Quiche is like our easy meal- that and tuna melts. I bet he’d love to give you a lesson. Haha, careful what you wish for.
it’s funny you should compare house-hunting to your marriage, because when i was shopping for a house, my sister was struggling with her engagement, and we came to the conclusion that it was almost the exact same thing. in the end, we determined that the house decision should be easier, because if you moved into a house and hated it, you may have to ride the market for a year or two, but eventually, you can sell it, move out, and try again. although divorce is increasingly prevalent in our society, neither of us wanted to think of marriage as something so easily reversible. (i was more of the opinion that if you think you’ll ever want to reverse it, you shouldn’t bother in the first place, and she was more of the opinion that you should do it, but then you have to force yourself to stick with it for the rest of your life, if you hate it. but that’s beside the point…)
i’ll give you something (who used to sell big-screen tvs) told me, that really helped me with the whole process: you need to pick the things that are most important to you, understand that there may be numerous houses that have those things, and then know that you have the part right that counts! just like the bread isle, and just like tv shopping, the choices can seem overwhelming. but once you take home the tv, you’re not comparing it to the rest of the tvs in the store, it’s yours, and you’ll watch it and enjoy it as your tv, and forget about all those tiny little features and specifications, that seemed so important when you were making the decision. minor differences can seem like a big deal, when you’re shopping for a house, but once you’re in it, you’re not comparing it any more to every single other house on the market (that’s the other important thing, from my realtor: you’re guaranteed buyer’s remorse if you continue to check real estate listings and tour open houses and check selling prices obsessively, once you’ve already purchased your house! so once you DO decide on one, stop looking!), and as long as you prioritized right, once you move in and it’s home, you’ll realize that what you picked is just fine for you.
This is all really great advice. Thank you so much! I really will think about this stuff and bring it all up with Jeff. You’re awesome.
I think that once you find your house, you will just know that it’s “the one.” I bet it’s kind of like falling in love. 🙂 It might not be exactly what you envisioned, but when you walk into it, you will just know it’s you! So what are you doing with Doug when you move? 🙂
Doing with him? Well, he’ll be sent back to the Ukraine to work as a house maid. Of course! Just kidding! haha. I assume he’ll stay where he is, he loves his place. Hopefully we’ll be close enough to see him as much as we do now.
Anyway, I like your approach- I’m going to try that. When we look at houses then I will see what kind of a feeling I get. We’re looking at some today so that’ll come in handy! Thanks!
You two are beautiful.