Going through it


Feels like a lot of endurance has been needed lately- physically, emotionally, spiritually. It’s been a time to just breathe and keep holding. I took a yoga class last night where there was a lot of focus on breath, which is always great, but the instructor mentioned that in one of his classes where they’d hold the poses for a long time, the focused breathing was what got them through it. I latch on to concepts that I need, weaving them into my current life-themes and making sense of things. This resonated with me. I do feel like we are holding this pose, our muscles are burning and our mind is beginning to doubt and whine and wriggle around. But we can do it, we can hold a little longer and get stronger, and move intentionally into the next thing. Reminds me of that post I wrote a couple of years ago, during another difficult time in our lives. I think about that time and realize that- Yes, we are stronger. Yes, we did get through that. Yes, we have insight about it all now that only the going through it could have produced. This is our good work, and we need to do it. 



And so what is this precious breath, flowing through me and keeping my mind from taking over and letting me give up? It’s my precious children, who permeate my life with purpose and joy. It’s Jeff, and his perseverance and love. It’s my friends and family. It’s my work and daily adventures, getting to know myself in the world. And I guess it’s just the push to see this whole thing through and to try at this life I want. I’m just breathing it all in and out again, letting those things sustain me and help me focus, and trying to release the tension and the fear that tries to hold me back.

Milton and I in the woods, on a fallen tree that Milton dubbed “the poop log”, which I’ll delve into on another day…
Beauty in one of the old over farmed fields we are observing and working to remediate.
Our future home, as seen on a walk up one of our trails on a sunny day.

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