March is the month with spring!

Sleep deprivation can really change a person’s perspective… I only got about 4ish hours of staggered sleep last night. It was hard because Vera has spoiled me with solid 4 hour blocks of sleep and nursing back to sleep breaks in between. Now she’s going through this growth spurt. It seems like she can’t nurse enough, and she’s sleeping for less time (usually because she’s so hungry). This morning she was just awake for a few hours and fussy, and I felt so overwhelmed by everything. She just needed so much more from me today. But, sure enough, as soon as she napped and I could get about an hour and a half more sleep I felt WAY better. Now she’s been sleeping for like 3 hours and I’ve gotten so much done.

I think Jeff’s gotten a little loopy too. He came into the kitchen today while I was washing a pot, and he just pulled my pants down and started laughing. Nice guy, huh? I mean, aside from it being a totally silly kid-prank, he got such a kick out of it. Now I can’t stop glancing over my shoulder when he walks behind me. SO random.

I can’t complain too much though. He came home from class today and took the baby while my sister and I went for a walk. He’s really been so helpful. I’ll miss him when he goes back to work on Monday. He actually said that changing her diapers is the least he can do because he’s not able to feed her. What a guy… Anyway, in more Jeff-praiseworthy-news, I occasionally get down on myself about this new body of mine. I know that I only had her 3 weeks ago, and that things are still going to be a little loose around the edges, but it’s an adjustment none the less. Sometimes I feel low about it, and I’ll say something self-pitying or I’ll cover up something and Jeff just won’t have it. He looks me square in the eye and says “Thank you god for exactly the way I am.” and then looks at me expectantly and waits for me to repeat. I do. Then he says “I will not judge others and I will not judge myself.” and then looks to me to repeat. I do. Sometimes I get caught in my mind and I can’t get out alone. I am so grateful that he knows to help me in this way. I think everyone should say that prayer, regardless of your god-stance. Just say it. Out loud.

March 4th:
Recently we got such a kick out of this video. Then we realized that the Wonder Years was a really great show. So we downloaded all six seasons of it. Now it’s our nightly ritual to hunker down and watch one or two. This is usually how you will find us girls after a long day.

March 5th:
She fits so neatly into the crook of his arm. We’ll have to remember that when she grows.

March 6th:
Pistachios with chili and salt. Um. Yum.

Quote of the day:
“People who say they sleep like a baby usually don’t have one.” -Leo J. Burke

Gracie
Gracie

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Comments (20)

  1. norwaygranny

    You sound absolutely normal in all respects!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Hooray!!! Sometimes it’s hard to tell…

      Reply
  2. pithy_epigrams

    You look beautiful! (And happy, and healthy!)

    Jeff is such a good man, I am happy to be able to be both of your friends.

    Do you own a share of a farm? (On a side note)

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Thank you! I’m happy to be your friend too. I wish we could get to know your guy too!

      We belong to a CSA and get veggies from them in the summer and fall, and we also belong to a farm cooperative where we get all our meat and raw milk. Why? Are you interested?

      Reply
      1. pithy_epigrams

        Yeah, I have been looking at CSA’s in CA. They are so much more expensive then the ones in MI. I talked to this guy in my choir though who know’s someone in San Dieogo he gets produce from, and he said he’d help me out. Do you have any advice? I would like to belong to a farm cooperative for meat and dairy. CA is so big and confusing sometimes…

        Reply
        1. Gracie (Post author)

          Well… I do know that most CSAs ask for a lump sum at the beginning of a season. Here that usually amounts to about $500- which Jeff and I can’t afford right out. So we found this great CSA that charges weekly. We pay about 30 dollars a week on average, which ends up being about $500 by the end of the season. My advice would be to ask if you can pay in installments, or weekly. I also would take that number, whatever it is, and divide it by the number of weeks in their growing season. My guess is because you are in LA, you’ll be getting veggies for most of the year and that could account for the price. Also, at least here, most farmers are happy to get help in exchange for discounted shares. I would try asking them about that too.

          Reply
          1. pithy_epigrams

            Thanks for the advice!

  3. norwaygranny

    If she is calling for more milk – why don’t you drink more water and milk – it’s healthy for you. Blessings

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      I am always thirsty! I think that’s a side effect for me. You are right, I should probably consciously up my intake. Thanks!

      Reply
  4. kazzibee

    heehee i loik that picture of the girls on the couch.

    kind of like the scene on the bed when me and vern and garyann are all there.

    Reply
    1. kazzibee

      or indeed, when we are all on the couch!

      Reply
      1. Gracie (Post author)

        I loik you guys…

        Reply
  5. pearlstreetdiva

    present/infant

    I have been looking up all kinds of ani stuff because I need her right now, i need to hear her music about being a mom if she has written any. well she has written a song, titled above. and im gonna try to link the you tube video. the video starts with her singing the new version of both hands and then she sings the new song. your post made me think of it so heres to feeling better about yourself:

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Re: present/infant

      That was great. Thanks. When she tours again we should all go to a concert together. Isn’t it strange that she always seems to have the right songs for us at each stage of life?

      Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Hang in there! I think the first month and a half is the hardest. You are doing great! Growth spurts are the hardest. Everyone says to take it easy and forget about daily chores. I won’t say that because I hated it when people told me that. It just wasn’t in my nature to let things like housework “go to the wayside”. Those especially are times that Jeff can really help with the chores (cleaning, cooking, laundry, etc). I think its important for guys to remember that its not just the baby caring thats stressful. The baby caring by itself is actually not bad. It’s the other stuff that needs to be done IN ADDITION to the baby caring thats stressful. At least that’s how I felt/feel. 🙂

    Reply
  7. Anonymous

    Oh, and – you and Very-Pie on the couch look too cute! Very-Pie (new nickname!)

    As for body image, I can’t say much cuz you know how I am about mine. All I can say is I understand.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Yeah, I think you are right about all of it… it really is the combination of things (jobs, lack of sleep, etc.) that make things temporarily difficult. I am grateful that Jeff is so helpful, and I will try to ask people around me for help too. Sometimes I have trouble remembering that I have people who are more than happy to come hold my baby while I get some stuff done.
      As far as the body image thing- I wish it were as easy as just a daily affirmation or something. I think as long as we strive for acceptance and health (hey, and maybe even happiness with it all) then we will get there. I think it’s a process though. We can help each other!!
      I like Very-pie. 🙂 My nicknames so far are Sprout, Squeaker, Bug, and Petunia. I don’t know why, they just happen…

      Reply
      1. Anonymous

        body image does take time. our bodies are a work in progress!

        oh petunia is new, i like it! 🙂

        Reply
  8. purerandomness

    I thought this site might be encouraging for you:
    http://www.theshapeofamother.com/

    Be proud of your body that brought you this beautiful baby! 🙂

    And ditto the water comment, that might help!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      I love that site! I just recently found out about it and it is soooo normalizing and encouraging. I really like it. I aim for full acceptance and perhaps even pride over time. It also helps to think about it like- I don’t want anyone else to feel ashamed of their bodies, especially after something as amazing as pregnancy, so who am I to be ashamed of mine?
      Anyway, thanks. 🙂

      Reply

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