It’s sometimes hard to find the time…

I hope you all don’t mind my once every few days entries that bombard you with pictures- lately it seems like it’s all I can manage. I think about all the things I’d like to talk about, and maybe I can remember a couple of things by the time I get here with a few minutes to myself. Anyway, the pictures help me remember.

June 13th:
Cool mushroom in my yard.

June 14th:
On this day a couple of my friends were having their wedding reception. They got married really quickly in January, without inviting anyone but their parents… not even siblings. So this really felt, to her, like their wedding celebration. It was nice, and I felt very valued as a friend, because she asked me to help her with all of it. I arranged for the music- which you should all check out here, they are awesome. Jeff and I were there the day before helping to decorate with her family and making sure everything was all set up. I loved helping her with this. She was so excited, and I was so happy for them to be honored. Anyway, the dope that I am forgot my camera that day. If I hadn’t it would most definitely be a shot of them. I’m making a stencil art piece (kind of like you saw before with my xmas gifts) out of one of their wedding photos (taken by my talented brother in law Obeth) with Kahlil Gibran’s words about marriage on the back. I love that piece from The Prophet. It’s all about being together, but also being decidedly separate… “Love one another, but make not a bond of love. Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.” … “Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping. For only the hand of life can obtain your hearts.” I just love it. It’s all about being yourself, on your own path, but being totally together at the same time. Jeff and I strive for this. I think it will keep us thinking, keep us happy, and keep us growing together.

Anyway, I think I might be taking some West African dance classes sometime soon…

June 15th:
LITTLE BABY IN A BIG OL’  BED!!! Hooray! Jeff’s first Father’s Day. I made him a luscious breakfast, we went to visit his Grandma, and we went out to dinner with my family. Nice. I’m so grateful that he is the father of my kiddo. I couldn’t choose a better one.

June 16th:
Little baby in a basket!!!

June 17th:
I’d been asking Jeff to make me a stool for the longest time, so I went out for about 2 hours this morning and came back to this. It even folds up! I love my Jeff.

You know that whole cloth wipes bit? Well, we’re just about ready to start doing it. We’ve been using them for Vera for a little while, but I just found a deal on one of those sprayer things used, and now we just have to hook it up. I also found a big thermos type thing that is waterproof/air proof that has a twist top and is just small enough to fit right next to the toilet (for the used ones). A similarly crunchy friend was asking me a bunch of questions about it all over the phone yesterday. She was surprisingly hesitant about the idea. I assured her that most people felt that way and that we’ll have TP here for other people and that it’ll hardly be noticeable. I told her why we were doing it, I explained in detail how I was going to deal with it all, etc. and she wouldn’t drop it. It got to the point where I was really wondering what was going on, and why she couldn’t just have her opinion that it’s unsanitary and go on with life, and then she said “Well, I just don’t think that’s something a little girl should be around.”

Yeah. I don’t really know what the correct way to deal with this kind of thing. Basically, I told her she was out of line and to mind her own business. She got worried and said “Oh, I’m just saying that if I were a parent then I wouldn’t do that.” It just got worse as she scrambled. Anyway, I didn’t say anything mean or that I regret, but I certainly said some things to let her know where I stand. I’m all for growing as a parent. I absolutely desire the best for my child. But, I’m making a conscious decision to do something, I’ve thought this out and done my research. I’ve found a way to keep it discreet and child-proof, and frankly, I don’t give a shit if people think it’s gross. Well, that’s not entirely true. I don’t like being looked at that way, but it’s not going to change my decision. So to hear this from a friend (albeit an interesting friend with a very low self-monitor) just stung. It’s as if she was assuming that I didn’t have my child’s well-being in mind, and she should know better.

Last night I was FUMING. I haven’t felt my heart pound in that way in a while. I was so offended. Now I’m not so upset about it because I know I’m doing the right thing, and that this friend is very opinionated and pushy and tends to be inflexible. Still, this is an area that I won’t budge on. Had she said “Have you thought about how to keep it all clean for when Vera is crawling around?” I would’ve said “Oh, yeah. Here’s what we’re gonna do…” But it’s as if she decided I was a fool. What should my reaction be? I mean, I guess the way I feel about it now is that she needs to acknowledge the fact that she should stay away from imposing her views when it comes to my parenting. This doesn’t mean she needs to agree with me, or approve. She just needs to find different ways to attempt to show me how she feels. And if I’ve made an educated decision for my family, then drop it. It’s not up to her. Anyway, I’m afraid that she will give me grief about this. She’s the “Well, this is just who I am” type, and that can be difficult to deal with. Then what? I don’t have the energy to field this kind of bullshit. I don’t think I should have to. I want my friends to support me and lift me up. If they don’t, then what?

So this morning I was driving around and singing along with Martin Sexton- the man who lifts my spirits when I’m down- and it was the song “What’s Goin On” by Marvin Gaye. For some reason it really struck a chord in me.

Mother, mother
There’s too many of you crying
Brother, brother, brother
There’s far too many of you dying
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today – Ya

Father, father
We don’t need to escalate
You see, war is not the answer
For only love can conquer hate
You know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some lovin’ here today

Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me, so you can see
Oh, what’s going on
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Ah, what’s going on

In the mean time
Right on, baby
Right on
Right on

Father, father, everybody thinks we’re wrong
Oh, but who are they to judge us
Simply because our hair is long
Oh, you know we’ve got to find a way
To bring some understanding here today
Oh

Picket lines and picket signs
Don’t punish me with brutality
Talk to me
So you can see
What’s going on
Ya, what’s going on
Tell me what’s going on
I’ll tell you what’s going on – Uh
Right on baby
Right on baby

Oh, in happy news, my brother is doing well. He’s making progress out in the wild west. He was just recently featured in an online article out there- I’m proud of him.
Here’s where you can hear:
Myspace
The first song is his friend Brett, who I think has an incredible voice. The second is by Ben. The third is a cover and Ben sings the higher harmonies and plays the harmonica. I’m almost positive he plays the slide in that one, but I’m not totally sure. Enjoy! I’m such a proud sister.

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