…but after I got home I still felt off the map for a while. It was nice. I didn’t feel the need to update, or answer my phone, or anything.
Today has been hard. I sort of want to talk about it, but it also feels hard to muster the energy. My Uncle Richard has probably died. He flipped on his motorcycle yesterday, and he has serious brain injuries. One of those things that just suddenly swept him away. Last I heard he was on life support and they were discussing when to unplug it. He wasn’t really my uncle, but he was part of a community that our parents lovingly built for everyone when we were children. Basically, it’s like they moved into this neighborhood with all of their best friends to raise their kids together. They called it the “cluster.” Eventually people moved, and only one family remains in the neighborhood that I know of. The romantic thing is that he was riding with my Uncle Dave, his best friend, at the time. Also an “uncle.” I still love everyone like family. I hadn’t seen him in at least 10 years, but this really hit me hard. It represents so much for me. I can’t imagine what his three daughters are feeling, or his wife. He’s only 54, a year younger than my dad.
I dunno, death baffles me. It makes me think things like… Everyone is irreplaceable. The chasm that is left when they are gone is both beautiful, because I know that they are not really gone, and inconsolable, because the space left feels all achy and new. I am just so grateful that I was able to have a bigger family than I had bargained for, and that I continue to gain true friends that have become family. It’s amazing to me that we live our lives connected to people, yet we endure such pain as a result. We are truly amazing creatures.
I have so many pictures it’s crazy, and I was going to include them in this entry but it doesn’t seem right. I’ll post them later.
I’m glad to be home 🙂