I had a rough few days, emotionally. It’s hard to really explain all that went on in my head, but the brunt of it was that I have come to the realization that I do not, and cannot carry the burden of the world. Not bad, eh?
I think that I have to work on my codependency issues and start to recognize when I’ve been “sucked dry.” It’s been refreshing to say the least. I was surprised to find that I actually put up an emotional wall between a friend and I, and I have never really done something like that for my own health. We are still fine, but I was able to make a distinction between her problems and issues, and my responsibility to her as a friend. They are not one and the same. This is kind of break-through for me. It means I’m getting better with this stuff.
I hear all the time “it’s not your problem” when I’m worrying about a friend or something, and i think i finally can say “yeah, you’re right” rather than “what do you mean? she’s my friend!”
I’m also seeing my own motives more clearly. While I love to help and be the best friend that I can be, I need to be sure that I am being sincere. Even though I don’t really know what that means for me right now, I think it’s a step in the right direction just knowing that I have, in some ways, been dishonest with myself in my friendships.
THAT ALL BEING SAID, I am back on my path to being a human services worker. Back to school tomorrow morning. I think that I’m excited for it- to break up the monotony of my splendiferous temp office job. I think.
I have a nice full load. It will stay that way for a while. Updates on that of course to follow. I’m just trying not to think about it too much.
I was recently reading about the glory that is BAKING SODA, and I saw this thing about how baking soda mixed with a little honey can clear your pores. So for fun I mixed the two buggers together and now I’ve got slime all over my face. This better do wonders. I declared it to be Baking Soda Day a while ago, but I didn’t notify anyone of it, so I don’t really think it was official. TOMORROW will be Baking Soda Day, officially. Celebrate as you will, but just remember, sodium bicarbonate can clean your teeth and floors, can deodorize, relieve stomachaches, be SLIMED ALL OVER FOR A TASTY (don’t try it) MASK, and much much more!!!!