Today one of my best friends found out that she was cheated on by one of my other best friends. Oy vey. She called me as I was out the door to go to work. They were searching for houses to rent together… So we just drove for a while. We went to breakfast and she could barely eat. It’s so awful. Both Jeff and I are completely shocked. I think they’re gonna try and work it out, which I will support if that’s best. I think he’s a shithead for doing that, but I do know that they love each other, and that if she feels like she wants to work it out then that’s the best thing. It’s just hard because I know and love him too. It’d be easiest if I could just call him an asshole and tell her to leave him. It’s just not that simple today.
Anyway, one thing my mom told me before I got married that stuck with me- she said to be prepared to be profoundly dissapointed in each other sometimes. My dad told me- it’s commitment over affection. I certainly have, in the time that J and I have been together, felt profoundly dissapointed. I have also momentarily lost my affection and resorted to pure commitment. I think that’s important. She’s meeting him for lunch right now, which I thought was a bad idea, but she wants to come back here afterwards. We’re going to walk in the ice rain. I was talking to Jeff about everything, and we came to the conclusion that every relationship is doomed unless the pair just sticks to it. That’s not to say that she should let him EVER do this again, or stay in a damaging relationship, but sometimes it just takes… stick-to-it-iveness.
It’s an ice blizzard out there today. Everything is super wet and foggy, but there’s a layer of ice on everything. Brrr. She liked it. We could barely see in the car and she said it didn’t make a difference because she’d been crying so much. Ugh.
Jeff is learning harmonica. It’s cute… and annoying… but mostly cute.
We found this new dresser on the side of the road. The drawers were falling apart and there was a slight crack in the top. It wouldn’t fit in the car so I took the drawers home and Jeff carried the body of it 5 blocks home. It’s balsa wood, so it’s pretty light, but still. Then he fixed it all up as good as new. Isn’t he amazing? I thought it looked Ikea-esque, so I checked and sure enough, it sells for $160. YAY. FOR FREE!
for xmas. Oooh toasty.
“Every instance of heartbreak can teach us powerful lessons about creating the kind of love we really want.” -Martha Beck