I’m just mad at my dad is all…

I’ve been pretty tired and busy lately, so basically that means no updates. I told myself I would tonight though, so here I am.

A few days back my sister and I started talking about parenting. We were, of course, comparing our experiences and issues with our own upbringing, and it inevitably brought out some pretty interesting realizations. While I am infinitely pleased with the people in my family and who we’ve all become, I am still unresolved about some things. I don’t think I’ll really get any answers to some of this stuff, but I do think it was valuable for me to recognize some of my anger towards my dad in particular. I love him to death, but it’s a strange couple of years when you realize that you are an adult as well, and that mom and dad aren’t always right. Of course I liberally placed blame on them throughout my adolescence, but once you come out of that cloud it’s a different story altogether. It’s also strange to see their flaws, sometimes glaring you in the face. I suppose in some ways it makes me feel closer to them, like I can relate a bit more. However, in other ways it’s a bit of a heartbreak, and it also requires some tough reevaluating. I’m still meditating on how to resolve this restlessness within myself. I know that I need to continually work to forgive him for some of this stuff.
I know that I’m painfully normal too. I felt totally shocked that I was still dealing with resentment towards my folks when it hit me almost as fast that I’m just like everyone else. I don’t know that it’s possible to grow up without a little baggage. All in all, I’d say I feel just great, and I won’t think twice about asking my parents for help with my own kids. On the other hand, there are very specific things that I believe I will do differently, and I think that’s probably a good thing. I am truly grateful for them and for what they taught me, even if it means I reject some things. Anyway.

We went back to my grandparent’s house to help some more. We took a nice walk in the woods, which I think was necessary. Kind of a goodbye. These woods were always magical to me in the fall.

If you look right in the middle you can see two deer staring right back at me.

My lover.

I am allergic to chickpeas, so I miss out on all sorts of great stuff. Why do I know it’s great? Well, because I taste it (naughty!!!). I decided to make a black bean falafel. It wasn’t falafel, but it was delicious.

Ann Arbor has hybrid buses now! How cool is that?

Jeff finished the cabinet. He put door handles on it that make it look perfect, but my camera needs a serious lens-cleaning, and is sort of out of commission at the moment so I can’t show you. Anyway, I’m really proud of him. It’s his first piece of furniture for god’s sake! I can only imagine the beautiful things he’ll make over the years. It’s a piece that is extra cool because the doors actually open and then slide back into the body of the cabinet. It was impossible for him to find hardware that pivoted and had wheels, etc. It’s just an extremely specialized piece. So he made it. He made little wooden trolleys for the doors.
I just really like him. I really like the cabinet. He made the whole thing!

7 Comments

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *