Here we go…

Today Vera is exactly four weeks old. She is one day shy of a month old. It feels like I gave birth yesterday but also forever ago. Like, I can’t believe she’s been here for a whole month, but I can’t believe I was without her (on the outside, of course) only a month ago. Do you ever get that feeling? Where your interpretation of time contradicts itself? Where one aspect of a situation seems near and the other very far?

March 7th:
Ok, as strange as this probably sounds… We just recently discovered how much Maya loves balls. Now I know that we probably should have figured this out ages ago, but it just didn’t happen. We tried balls before, but Maya is kind of picky, and I remember when she was small she had little interest in balls that didn’t fit just right in her mouth. I know how that sounds. I don’t know how to say that differently. Oh god. Anyway, in all seriousness, then whenever we tried to play fetch with a ball it would usually get lost or roll under some piece of furniture never to be seen again. The other day we went to spend some time with our friends that have the pair of Beagles, and they had loads of tennis balls. Maya just about died having fun. She was sliding all along their wood floors in a haze of pure dog-and-her-ball bliss. Jeff and I looked at each other and were surprised that we didn’t do this with her at home. Things will be different from now on…

March 8th:
Jeff’s good friend Bob just had a baby boy on Tuesday. We decided (since it was so amazingly helpful for us) that we would make them a bunch of food as a gift. Jeff and I had loads of fun cooking together. We usually have fun doing that, but it was paired with that warm feeling you get when you do something nice for someone. Anyway, it was great. We made them some baked mashed potatoes, pasta with meat sauce, squash stuffed with quinoa and sausage and raisins (YUM, I’m making this tonight I think), and a creamy asparagus and broccoli soup. It was so easy to make many servings of each thing in only a couple of hours, that we decided it will be a monthly thing for us. We’ll come up with some easily frozen/stored meal ideas and make a bunch of them on a Sunday or something. In a couple of months I’ll have a nice variety of really easy meals. This will be great on tired days in the future. Plus, I’ve been really slacking in the food blogging department, but now I feel inspired and able to do it again.
It was amazing to see this kiddo though. He’s only 3 weeks younger than Vera, but she was much sturdier looking. It’s amazing what milk and a couple of weeks can do. He was so curled up and thin- and he was almost a pound bigger than she was when he was born! It’s not just the weight difference though, it’s that she’s really grown. They are so tucked in at first, little fish, and now it’s like she’s unrolling into her earth body. Anyway, the whole thing is beautiful. It was really fun to swoon over another person’s baby. It has a whole new feeling for me now that I have one of my own. I also noticed that I feel immediately connected to mothers too. We are all on this team now kinda.
Bob looks so big holding little John.

March 9th:
Jeff’s “last day” home. He was very helpful. We hung out all day and did projects around the house. I brought out some clean laundry to fold and this is how I found him moments later. He said it was warm. I love him amazing amounts, even with the changing pad cover thing on his head. I’m glad that after 4 years together we still laugh all the time.

March 10th:
This was sort of an accidental picture, but I liked it anyway. It reminds me of how I feel some of these days.

I’ve been taking her out more often lately. It’s surprisingly do-able. I can’t wait until the weather’s warmer and I can take her out in the sling more. I did the other day, and even though I had my sweatshirt covering her completely it was still a little cold.
My friend planned this girls dinner thing on Saturday. It was a group of friends that I hadn’t seen in a while. I was really happy that something like that had been arranged- I probably wouldn’t see many of them otherwise. I went, had dinner, showed off my baby, caught up… it was lovely. I guess I wanted to mention it because it left me feeling very encouraged about my future in friendships. Sometimes I worried that I would be from a different world now that I’m toting around a sprout. I didn’t feel that way at all though, and although I couldn’t go hot tubbing or out for drinks afterwards, I left feeling fulfilled rather than left out. There are certainly things that have and will change. I guess it just made me realize how little being a mom has to “interfere” with my relationships. It’s just another facet of who I am now, and part of what I love about holding any kind of relationship is the beauty of individual experience.
The fact of the matter is, I will only be as isolated as I choose to be. It truly depends on my perspective. I also really believe that the people that I don’t keep in touch with after this are not really what I’ll be mourning. Those people weren’t close friends anyway. What will bother me about that is that my life is different now. Just like any life change, this will take adjusting and perhaps a few goodbyes. What is exciting, though, is that it opens up many opportunities too. I see so many opportunities to meet new people, talk about new things, have new friendships. How cool is that? Like I said, I see that this all depends on my perspective. It’s amazing how much power I have over what my life feels like.

And some bonus Vera pics. I wanted to post a picture of Jeff and I too… I’m trying to figure out who she looks like. I can see him in her eyes. I think maybe my nose- but it’s really hard to tell cuz all of her features are so cute and little.

 

 

Quote of the day:
“Friendship is a living thing that lasts only as long as it is nourished with kindness, empathy and understanding.” -Unknown

Comments (10)

  1. 3squares_a_day

    She is so sweet.

    My kids all look like one parent for a while, then the other for a while. It’s strange! Actually, Sage (my oldest) looks like him dad and my mom…

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Haha that’s great! At least everyone gets a turn, right? Genes are an amazing thing. My little niece Tuula has an extra bone in one of her hands- turns out my dad has one too. You never really know how it’s all gonna come together- but it does so beautifully.

      Reply
  2. Anonymous

    I love reading your journal entries and what you write about your pictures. You’re so insightful, I always finish thinking, wow, I never thought of it that way. Jeff is too silly, its good to see that even with sleep deprivation and having to go back to work looming that you can both still have fun.

    I love “bonus vera pics!” I can’t get enough bonuses. πŸ™‚ She looks so much well more grown up I guess than when I saw her. Her face is more baby less infant! It’s amazing how fast they grow. In the last picture, I love her arm chub! I love the fact that baby’s don’t have wrists!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      That’s such a nice, encouraging thing to say! Sometimes I wonder if I ramble on too much about this and that, and then I think “hey, it’s my journal, so whatever…” but I always hope that I can make some sense anyway. I’m really liking reading your journal too. I can’t believe how fast Mr. Jonah B is growing!!! He kills me with cute.

      She did get “baby” pretty fast. She’s got the start of arm rolls in between her wrist and elbow and also between her elbow and shoulder. I love it!

      Reply
  3. pithy_epigrams

    That’s so kind of you guys to prepare food for your friends! Someone did something nice for you, you do something nice for someone else, and they will most likely do the same. It’s one way to make the world better, and that’s awesome.

    Vera is so adorable! She looks very calm and happy is all your pictures.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      That reminds me of that movie Pay it Forward. It’s a good way to live, I say…

      Reply
  4. Gracie (Post author)

    Re: Hehe

    Haha is that how you know him? I love it.

    Yes please upload photos! I would love to see them!

    Reply
  5. prophetsong

    Oh my goodness congratulations!! She is utterly adoreable and you look like such a contented little family unit even in spite of the sleep deprivation.

    My internet connection has been broken since the start of Feb and today is the first chance I’ve gotten to log on so I’ve been wondering and wondering how things were going for you and whether the baby had arrived yet.

    This is a time of real intensity (at least it was for me) but it really is over so very quickly so try to hang onto it, even the difficult bits, because you’ll treasure the memories in a few months time xxx

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Yay! I’m glad to see you on! I missed your entries πŸ™‚

      That’s such a good thing for me to read at this minute- she’s been fussier than normal since 4 this morning… SO. TIRED. I will definitely take your advice and treasure this- sometimes I just have to push through the tired mornings.

      I can’t wait to see new pictures of Zachary! He’s gotta be so big now!

      Reply
  6. kazzibee

    haha yes.

    Reply

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