Vera is such a saucy little girl. Sometimes it’s hard for me to keep up with her, just how much she’s been growing into herself lately. She’s so sweet and smiley, giving kisses to everyone. She’s also got such a temper, and has just recently started throwing these fits when I take something away or pick her up when she wants to stay down. It’s… interesting. I sort of just look at her like she’s crazy and talk calmly to her, it’s not so hard to handle, but lately she’s really just letting me know that she is her own person, and that’s been fun- fits and all. She is definitely a mama’s girl, although that’s totally normal for this age. She’s got a really special place for Jeff, and if she hears a door open during the day or something she goes running and says "Papa! Papa!" I’m just constantly amazed by this ride.
We’re also really enjoying time outside. Spring weather has been welcome for all of us, and this weekend we went to our old house and ripped up our old garden. Outside work! It left me sore and satisfied. I was telling a friend just this morning that I really believe that simple work, like digging in the yard and harvesting some veggies, is hardwired in us as humans. I really think that we are all built to do some form of simple work for sustenance to be happy. Maybe it’s just how I’m wired. Totally possible. But this is my theory. I think we all should quit our day jobs and make our own local economies, centered around health and fun and community. Screw that money stuff! Screw all those hours away from our homes and families! I am more and more determined each spring to keep tapping into this energy. It feels right, it feels close to truth.
In other news, I have been busy with this path to becoming a doula, and the other night I met my first doula client! We talked for 2 1/2 hours and it felt really organic and easy. I was nervous at first. I mean, this is such a privilege, to be a witness to this process for someone I just met. I suppose that’s what these meetings are for though, to get to know her. It reminded me of my own prenatals, and how different people are. Anyway, it was fun. I’m sure I’ll have more to say later.
All this new stuff, the house, the doula stuff, no more John, new garden, some new friends, massage school this fall, being determined to live with less and less money, just all of it- well, it’s oddly left me feeling a little directionless. So many directions, I guess. I find that while I’m driving my way into the future with great clarity, all of those little things around me get fuzzy. Like laundry. Or unpacking (because apparently that will take us multiples of years to do…). Or knowing what order to do things in. At least my baby is still fat and happy, so I know that I’m doing something right. Most days I find myself listening to my favorite music at loud volumes and making strange lists (the most recent list being "Operation Get Organized"), and then cooking and day dreaming, and then wondering why I was busy all day but only crossed off two things on my list. It’s good. I’m just trying to ground myself is all. Some days I just end up almost looking down at myself and laughing. Keep the sense of humor in the midst of all of it. That’s key.
And now pictures. Forgive me for all the baby. I mean, lately she’s what I want to take pictures of. And who can blame me? Hopefully with spring I’ll get more variety, but for now you’ll just have to deal with all of the little Miss Vera Jean.
She found her pacifier the other day and it was nostalgic. I let her chew/suck on it for a while (I swear she almost forgot what to do with it!) and then promptly hid it.
This is our new couch. I love it, it’s just my taste. My aunt and uncle just gave it to us, along with a matching chair. Then there’s Vera, who apparently is a very accomplished climber. Lately she’s been using my yoga block as a step stool. I’m in trouble, I tell ya. Oh, and also pictured here on the floor is the psycho baby doll that Vera got for free from the Reuse Center. It’s dirty and scary and its head turns completely around and she loves it. I plan to fix it up a little with some fabric and yarn, but really just for my sake. Yikes. Before and after pictures are surely to follow.
I made this little elephant for Tuula for her 2nd birthday. I love it. She wasn’t quite so fond. She grabbed it and tossed it behind her when I gave it to her. Hahaha. I’m thinking she’ll love it when she’s older. And that’s ok too.
When I was a kid I used to hang upside down everywhere. Couches, at the table while we were eating dinner, it was what I liked to do. I don’t know why, I just liked it. Vera? She likes to drape her body over people (mostly our heads) when they are lying down. Why? I don’t know. She just does. Baby dolls are no exception here.
My friend took this picture of Vera the other day and I just love it. Beauty.
Ok, I’m done with the baby for now…
Quote of the day:
"The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there." ~George Bernard Shaw