cigarettes, and life, and breath, and coffee, and cigarettes…

FUCK! I almost had it too. I caved yesterday and bought a pack. I feel icky about it, but at the same time I know that if I don’t really mentally quit, then I won’t. Sucks though. I have new shame associated with it. I feel like hiding whenever I have one. I think I might use the 12 steps to quit this time. They never fail if you do them right.
Well, it would help if all of my friends quit. I don’t even think about it if I’m not around it… but when I am! golly. The sick part of me is happy about the fact that it’s an appetite suppressant. That’s the sick part of me though. I can’t really see any other plus, besides that I’ll get to smoke. Well, still some pondering to do. I hated being chained by it. At least I’m not totally physically addicted again, yet…
Man o man. A kind thought from any of you would be helpful I’m sure:)

no affirmation when I need one.


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