Brain-dead.

The other morning Vera was crawling all over Jeff and I, in our normal weekend ritual. She sat between us, and as her papa smiled at her she leaned over and laid a perfect little baby kiss right on Jeff’s cheek. She has since repeated this many times, although is much more liberal with the kisses for her papa, I have only gotten 2. She has, however, given me many schmoozles (basically a backwards kiss on someone’s skin). I’ll take what I can get.

I’m usually so able to take things and think about them, liberally. Lately, though, with the house and everything, I feel a little brain-dead. I just haven’t been able to conjure up the insight that I normally can about a situation. This is understandable, Jeff and I are making the biggest purchase we’ll ever make (or at least one of them), and we are packing up everything and mentally preparing to do this thing. It doesn’t feel like a lot, but I know it is, and I know how I deal with things like this- which is basically to go blank. I guess it’s just that I have other things I’d like to talk about here, but they’ll just have to wait. I can’t seem to do much except be wherever I am.

For my own reference: Things to talk about when I can get the mental energy- grief, God, friends, community, self-esteem, body image, garden, howard zinn, beauty, old journal.

Something I never need energy to talk about- Vera! She has taken independent steps! I’ve only ever seen her take two in a row, but she’s really just about to walk. It’s so fun and crazy. I can’t believe she’ll be ONE soon. I’m so glad I get to be here to see her do all this. Ugh, I think that’s really all I’ve got in me. Off for more packing!

Oh, and happy MLK Day to everyone. This is one of my favorite holidays.

"Our lives begin to end the day that we become silent about things that matter." -MLK Jr.

Gracie
Gracie

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Comments (14)

  1. purerandomness

    I completely understand the whole ‘brain-dead’ feeling while going through and immediately after a large purchase or big change in life. It almost seems like you’re just going through the motions, getting done what absolutely needs to, but not really ‘thinking’ about what’s happening.

    πŸ™‚ I’m so excited for you and Jeff and Vera and Maya! A house! A new place for gardening and lots of pictures! Yay yay yay!

    Reply
    1. purerandomness

      Also, I had a quick question for you (and now is probably the worst time to ask since you’re so busy):
      Do you have any natural-oriented pregnancy/childbirth/parenting books that I could borrow from you? Our cards have expired at the Ann Arbor library and, from what I’ve seen, the Hartland library doesn’t have the same quantity of resources.

      If you do and they’re already packed away, don’t worry about it. If not, I could either pay you for postage or visit you to pick them up! Let me know and thanks! πŸ™‚

      Reply
      1. Gracie (Post author)

        Oh, hey, anytime! I’m never too busy really- I think my mind is just a little jumbled lately. No big deal!

        Anyway, I did read some stuff during pregnancy- a lot of which was off the internet. However, I borrowed a few books from my midwife and sister. I have an idea though, Jeff has a membership to the AA library, and I have one to the Ypsi one, and I have some good ideas for books for you. So if you wanted to come to Ypsi sometime for tea then I could just give you a few and then you could either return them for me or meet up again and I could give you a couple more then. I’m more than happy to share my library membership with you!
        Let me know what you think about that and also if you’ve already got/read any preggo books so that I don’t get them accidentally.

        Reply
  2. 93_millionmiles

    When are you moving? We’d be more than happy the bring the truck over to help you move closer to us if you need anything like that.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      I guess there’s some weirdness with the key situation, and we won’t get access to the house (officially, although we can get in) until the middle of next week. So, I guess we’re thinking next weekend we’ll be moving. I can’t tell you how cool it would be to have the use of the truck! I think we are planning on renting a small uhaul or something, but I’ll let you know if we need your truck. Awesome! I’ll see you Thursday anyway. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  3. 3squares_a_day

    OMG, baby kisses are the best. My oldest used to wake up in the middle of the night, grab my face, kiss me, then fall back asleep. It was so sweet!!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      That’s adorable! The amount of sweet that can come out of them is straight baffling sometimes…

      Reply
  4. pithy_epigrams

    Oh! I want a baby kiss!

    Don’t worry about the “brain dead” feeling you’re having. I assure you, you are an extremely intelligent women who merely “feels” brain dead. And, we all do sometimes. I do a lot of time.

    Happy MLK day!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Well definitely next time you come to town we will have to get you one. A baby kiss, that is.

      Thanks for having faith in my brain! You are too sweet. πŸ™‚

      Reply
  5. kazzibee

    OOH EXCITING. soon it will be time to fix the cupboards with those fegadgety thingybobs! woohoo!

    of course, you know, MY GARY walked at 5 minutes of age…. not that, you know, I’m boasting or anything… πŸ˜€ πŸ˜€

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Well, my VERA will eventually be able to go you-know-what in the TOILET. At that point, I will win. Until then, boast away. So there!

      Reply
      1. kazzibee

        well, MY GARY has been artfully pooping in a plastic box for his entire life!

        oh, except when I told him it was ok to go outside, to which he replied “Very well, Mummy, I will do as you say. Meow.”

        heehee.

        Reply
        1. Anonymous

          Oooooh, lucky you! I assume he also scoops and disposes of the waste himself, yes? Oh, no? Oh… I see.

          heehee. πŸ˜›

          Reply
          1. kazzibee

            πŸ˜€ but of course! AND twice a year he packs his little suitcase and flies to Bali for a couple of weeks to give me a rest!

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