The other morning Vera was crawling all over Jeff and I, in our normal weekend ritual. She sat between us, and as her papa smiled at her she leaned over and laid a perfect little baby kiss right on Jeff’s cheek. She has since repeated this many times, although is much more liberal with the kisses for her papa, I have only gotten 2. She has, however, given me many schmoozles (basically a backwards kiss on someone’s skin). I’ll take what I can get.

I’m usually so able to take things and think about them, liberally. Lately, though, with the house and everything, I feel a little brain-dead. I just haven’t been able to conjure up the insight that I normally can about a situation. This is understandable, Jeff and I are making the biggest purchase we’ll ever make (or at least one of them), and we are packing up everything and mentally preparing to do this thing. It doesn’t feel like a lot, but I know it is, and I know how I deal with things like this- which is basically to go blank. I guess it’s just that I have other things I’d like to talk about here, but they’ll just have to wait. I can’t seem to do much except be wherever I am.

For my own reference: Things to talk about when I can get the mental energy- grief, God, friends, community, self-esteem, body image, garden, howard zinn, beauty, old journal.

Something I never need energy to talk about- Vera! She has taken independent steps! I’ve only ever seen her take two in a row, but she’s really just about to walk. It’s so fun and crazy. I can’t believe she’ll be ONE soon. I’m so glad I get to be here to see her do all this. Ugh, I think that’s really all I’ve got in me. Off for more packing!

Oh, and happy MLK Day to everyone. This is one of my favorite holidays.

"Our lives begin to end the day that we become silent about things that matter." -MLK Jr.


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