Always a patch of ice…
Posted On March 9, 2005
It never ceases to amaze me, the way that my head can take over. Even when everything in my life is a blessing I have to muck it up for myself. Hmm… I’m not particularly unhappy, I’m just finding myself more emotional than usual (which can be embarrassing) and I feel bad about my body lately. It’s frustrating to struggle with a bunch of imaginary stresses. Jeff is good to have around. He not only likes my body, he wants to be stuck with it forever.
I think the worst thing is that I really love myself. I think I’m great, but I let myself get plagued with these feelings and illusions that hinder my progress. Why? I’m not overweight or ugly or stupid but I FEEL that way. How do I stop that? The only days I get relief are the days that I forget about it.
I also try to remind myself that I’m being completely self-absorbed and that I should focus on other things, but it is almost unconscious. But I know that it will pass. It always does, and I can always have faith that I’ll feel better in a little while. Because it never fails.
Well. Just wanted to formulate my thoughts.