It’s hard to stay patient sometimes. The past two days have been fine, but I basically haven’t been able to do anything because Asa has been so high-needs. On average he’s fine, but I think he’s in a growth spurt or something and is just nurse, sleep for 10 minutes, fuss, nurse, bounce, change, nurse, fuss, sleep for 10 minutes, etc. Thankfully Jeff is home for the weekend, so I can get a little help, but it’s hard sometimes! This morning I just was trying to put together some crock pot tapioca pudding for my dad’s birthday tonight. That’s it, just mix the stuff in the crock pot and go. But I couldn’t even do it. I had him in the sling and he was going nuts! So I laid him down and let him wail, finished it up, and we went for a walk. When in doubt- get out.

It helped. Cool and breezy, with little touches of fall around the edges. My sister said it best recently: "Go to the Earth for answers, for comfort, for inspiration and rest." It always gives me those things. It gives me space to clear my head, leaving the mess at home. 


This is the land across the street from us that we’d love to buy. It doesn’t include the white shed, but does include the little brown building. It goes quite a ways back, although this picture doesn’t really show it well. Anyway, I don’t think it’s quite an acre, but probably close. So much we could do with it!

Anyway. I’m growing. I anticipate many many walks of surrender in the days to come.

Gracie
Gracie

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Comments (15)

  1. purerandomness

    Maybe he was feeling the change in the weather? It’s been sooo hot and humid basically since Asa was born… maybe the abrupt coolness got the better of him?
    Or maybe he’s just doing another growth spurt.
    Hang in there, mama: you can do it! And walks are probably your best option for head-clearing sanity.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      It could be that! With newborns I’m sure it’s just a host of different stuff going on- so much growing and learning, it’s probably overwhelming at times. Thanks for your support. 🙂

      Reply
  2. poppleshatesyou

    hugs!

    No doubt!! about the “when in doubt, get out!” — It really is the cure all most times. take lots of deeeep breaths. you are such a wonderful mama and growth spurts can definitely be trying for everyone!

    “Walks of surrender” — what a perfect way to phrase that.

    How lucky Vera and Asa are to have such a compassionate and aware mama.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Re: hugs!

      You are so nice! hugs right back at ya. 🙂

      Reply
  3. pagangoat

    I’m feeling all kinds of sympathy for you…this is probably going to be me in about 7 months!
    What kind of sling is that? Can you nurse in it? I wore Eilidh a bit when she was small, I have a Little Star ring sling, super simple. I was thinking of trying another style out next time, because that one could be a little uncomfortable sometimes, digging into my shoulder, and also wasn’t the easiest to nurse in. I also have a fancy organic hemp carrier, but it’s for when they’re a bit beyond newborn. I have a feeling that babywearing is going to be 100% necessary with Eilidh running around getting into mischief!

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      It’s a Maya wrap. I have nursed in it, it’s not too hard. I do find that I have to support him while I do it, but I can keep walking too. Actually, it’s funny, the other day I was bowling with him in the sling and he was nursing when I threw the first ball. Haha. It wasn’t a great shot, but it can be done! I’m actually going to buy a nice woven wrap soon, for more support while I’m doing gardening and stuff and so that I can back-carry. Probably one of these:
      http://www.pieceofcloth.com/

      Yes, definitely babywearing just seems like a must at this point. Now that he’s sleeping a little less and I’ve got more to do, I’m just aching to be able to put him on my back and keep him content, rather than have to bounce him or put him in the front carry. Anyway, I’ll totally let you know what I get and how it works. 🙂

      Reply
      1. pagangoat

        I’ve heard all kinds of good things about maya wraps.
        I kind of like the look of the wraps on that link, but they also look like they might be a bit tricky/time consuming to get in and out of. I’ll be curious to hear your experience with whichever one you do get:)

        Reply
  4. moondaughter20

    I love that expression, “walks of surrender”.
    I hope you are able to get some proper rest soon. ((hugs))

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Thank you! I feel much better today. The cool thing is these hard times are always short-lived. I try to remember to even cherish the times with him screaming his head off- he’s only ever going to be this little and need me like this once. 🙂

      Reply
  5. see_anotherside

    I too have found that taking a walk outside can be really calming. I’m glad it helped when you were feeling overwhelmed. The pictures are lovely 🙂

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Thanks! I’m loving your pictures too, as usual. 🙂

      Reply
  6. Anonymous

    Just want to say how much I am enjoying your blog! It is so well written and thought provoking.

    Reply
    1. Gracie (Post author)

      Thank you! It’s nice to have found yours as well. 🙂

      Reply
  7. haurelia

    Ah! Hugs to you…I remember how hard that was.
    As I’m sure you know, just as each phase begins to seem insurmountable, it will change and you can breathe again. One day at a time mama! You’re doing so well. 🙂

    Reply
  8. lilpeace

    Funny, with my Wheel sisters we’re talking about just that lately: Surrender.

    Some wise quotes from wise women:
    “I am learning that surrendering is pretty much the most responsible thing to do.”

    “I am not really in charge here, but yet it is a co-creative process, and fighting it sure doesn’t help…For me surrender has come to be a practice, of trying to remember to breathe and be still, and be receptive to the presence of a power greater than myself.”

    “again this distinction we have visited so many times, i find so helpful; my work, someone else’s work, and spirit’s work…i believe that surrender is what is asked of us when we have confused that balance. we are typically asked to surrender something that was never ours in the first place. perhaps it would be helpful to consider this at every crossroads we are asked to surrender something at all.”

    “only when we choose to embody surrender as a gift does it present its true purpose- the conscious offering to release into something that does serve us, or out of something that does not.”

    Reply

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