Waiting.

Posted On December 13, 2008

The night before last I stayed up about an hour after Jeff went to bed. It was just one of those days where I felt spread thin, and I ended it feeling like I needed some alone time. So, after tucking both baby and partner away in bed, I stayed up reading random blogs and feeling very very tired. The temperature dropped in the house (we have a programmable thermostat) and my fingers started to feel frosty. I finally submitted and quietly entered the dark bedroom. Jeff stirred as I climbed into bed, and then he seemed to get a rush of energy. He pulled me close, and I felt how cold my fresh-from-the-air skin was against his, all cozy from an hour of sleep. I just laid there smiling as he held me tightly for a good minute. It’s times like those that just sneak up on me and let me know that I’m truly loved. I know it’s cheesy, it was just such sleepy loving warmth and I just knew. This is good.

Crazy deep thoughts this week- what a surprise, right? Mostly about how to further the cause, raise awareness, start a revolution, save the world…. you know, normal stuff. I’m starting to read Derrick Jensen, and I can say that this is directly responsible for the spike in the designated activist part of my brain. Although, if it wasn’t that then it’d be something else. I mean, I just feel closer and closer all the time. It sometimes reminds me of when I attempted to understand Einstein’s theory of relativity when I was younger. I remember being so close… and then just kind of mentally collapsing because it was just a little too far beyond my capacity. It’s a work in progress. Gretchen and I are talking about doing some "guerrilla gardening" this spring. Hell yeah.

We made an offer on the house. Fingers crossed. It looks like we’re moving out either way, and that’s kind of crazy. We actually found someone who wants our current place and is flexible about when to move in- she says mid-January. So, we’ll probably stay a week or two at Jeff’s parents’ house and save a few bucks before we move in- if all goes well. Otherwise I guess we’ll just wait until we find another house and so on. It’s exciting, I feel hopeful. Although, we are trying to be level-headed and trusting, so if it doesn’t work out then we will be resilient. I can’t wait to turn it into my own little farm… "it" being whatever house we get.

I have pictures, but I think those will have to wait until tomorrow, I’m having a date with my Jeff.