Use it or lose it

March 18th:
My feeble attempt at maintaining order… You would think that staying home with a baby would allow me more time for housework and projects and fun, but you would be surprised. Anyway, I thought that if I simplified it for myself it would be easier. We’ll see. I’m not too worried though, I’ve been able to do pretty well considering.

I have been doing lots of fun things in the meantime… I make a point to hang out with someone (either to get out of the house or have them come over) almost every day. I walk a lot (slings are the best). I read. I watch people cook on tv. I play with my adorable baby. I also have lots of time to think while I’m stuck on the couch nursing. I think a lot anyway, but lately I’ve been inspired. I realized that I now have time to be of service in many ways- I’ll probably write more about this later, but I’d like to see what I actually have time for before I do.
Sometimes I do get discouraged because Jeff will come home from a full day at work and I will have managed to do half of the dishes and wash the diapers or something (maybe they got into the dryer at that point if I’m lucky…). It’s not always that bad, but I guess sometimes that’s how it feels more than it actually is. My house isn’t a total wreck or anything, but I guess some days my expectations for what I want to achieve end up making me feel like I haven’t done anything (even though I have). My mom gave me some advice the other day. She said to make up a to-do list, but to also include what you’ve already done that day. Chances are you’ve already cleaned off the table, or unloaded the dishwasher, or whatever. So put that stuff right on your list and check it off. I liked it. I think we do forget to give ourselves credit for what we’ve done and focus on what we have yet to achieve. It’s all about living in the moment!
The other day the baby was fussy, and I was feeling overwhelmed. Jeff said “Grace, thank you for everything you do for our family.” It was exactly what I needed to hear. I was sure to thank him right back. Even though we are in these different roles, we are working towards the same things- helping each other. I can’t lose sight of that when I feel annoyed or overwhelmed. This is a precious time for our family. I need to remember not to waste my time feeling alone.

March 19th:
Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of the war in Iraq. We went to a peace vigil on campus. I was glad to go, I felt empowered by it. I was, however, disappointed with the turnout. Almost everyone I know wants this war to end right now, but that was certainly not reflected last night. There was maybe 50-60 people there, mostly in the older crowd. Where the hell are all the students? We’ve got all the U of M and Eastern students (not to mention all of them from the community college) all in a ten mile radius. Where is everyone?
I admire my parent’s generation for their protests during the Vietnam war. At the same time, where are they now? What I think many people don’t know is that they didn’t start protesting until there was a draft- something like 10 years in. Is that what needs to happen? Does this war need to hit so close to home that people can’t justify not protesting? I know many people feel disheartened, like what’s a vigil going to do anyway… but seriously, if everyone that opposed the war in this area came out it would be powerful. It would be covered by all the news stations, not to mention the intense energy that would be there. It’s not all about being able to stop the war in one fell swoop. It’s about showing each other our dedication and our belief in our power. It’s about utilizing our rights in this country and standing up for what we believe in. I hate to think that people really just don’t care, but I suppose that’s a possibility too. Anyway, I guess I’m just at this point in my life where I feel like I really need to put my money where my mouth is. I do feel like I’m part of a lazy generation that is happy with the connection that the internet provides and that’s where it ends. If we believe that we have no power then we are right. Of course utilizing our power takes work. This is our world, our community, whether we feel it everyday or not. All I can do is show up and show my support, I can’t control anyone else. I do think that these things matter. Besides, it was Vera’s first peace vigil! Hooray!

March 20th:

Bonus pics:

Alien Jeff.

It’s been a while since I’ve shown any rat pictures. This is Walt chewing on an egg carton.

A smile! I caught it! She smiles all the time now, but it’s nearly impossible to catch… this is sort of a half smile.