Lover.

Posted On April 13, 2009

I love my partner. I love him more than I did when we took vows. I love him more than I did yesterday. We are not without our struggles, but we both want this to flourish, and so things are never bad. It’s always just growth with us. Days like today make me swoon and feel grateful for my good fortune. He’s been calling and being encouraging and sweet. He called just to tell me he had fun with me last night, and to tell me when to expect him home.

I love who he is. I love that he wears thick socks and sandals all through the winter. I love that his hair sometimes sticks up on the left side in the same spot. I love how free of judgment he is, that he doesn’t care about appearances, believing that humans are beautiful and flawed and shouldn’t try to be different. I love that he questions everything, and that he cares deeply about justice and truth and love. I love how enthusiastic he is with people. If he likes something, he usually says something like "This is fantastic!" I love his sense of humor and how he can get me to roar with laughter at ridiculous things. I love how comfortable he makes me, and how safe I really am with him. I love how proud he is when he’s been creative. I love that he’s always trying to learn and do better. He is aware that he is a work in progress, and he remains open to new growth. I love that he sometimes holds my head in his hands and says "There’s a person in there!!!" I love that I have no doubt that he is a good man, and that he has a lot to teach me.

I love how he loves our daughter. I love how he plays with her, how he’s always conscious of her, always conscious of me as a mother. I love how he changes her diaper and sings to her. I love how he wants to put her to bed every night, to give me a break and to have some sacred Papa-baby time. I love that when he dresses her in the morning, it’s never something I would put together for her. Sometimes it’s all on backwards. I love that he appreciates my work, and he tries to nurture me as a person and a mother alike. I love that our bodies connected and made a new family for us. I love that we can look at our sleepy little girl and just feel overwhelmed with joy for her, together.

The other night I picked a fight with him. It was about not feeling like he showed me enough affection recently. He said "You know, we’re in pretty good shape if our biggest problem is not cuddling enough…" It’s true. I think I was just feeling overwhelmed and perhaps he was being a little too distant. But, he has a point. This post is meant to remind me to be grateful for my partnership, and to keep telling him that I’m grateful for it too.