Love, create, question.

Posted On November 13, 2008

This morning I feel very awake- I think it’s the difference that the sun brings to a day. When things get gray I tend to feel cozy, but maybe a little unenthusiastic. Today, after who knows how many days, the sun is shining in my windows and reminding me how much I missed it, although it’s quickly fading back to gray… I guess that’s how it goes in November in Michigan. I think I’ll make bread and kombucha today. I’m also going to work on my crafty and foodie things- for which I’ve created a new blog, but I think I’ll link to it when I’ve actually updated it with something.

So much growth this week. I remember when I was a kid I would wake up early in the night, usually when my parents were still up hanging out together, and I would yell to my mom to help me because my growing pains were so bad. The pain would radiate through my legs up into my back and she would come rub my legs until they relaxed enough so I could sleep. I remember that so vividly. I guess I’m thinking about it because I feel like I’ve always had these growth spurts that kind of floor me. Not just physical, but spiritually and mentally and just general life-spurts. I’m sure that I grow gradually in many ways, but sometimes a week will go by and I’ll feel a marked difference in my perspective. This is a good thing, I think it’s a good way for me to grow, but it’s harder to call someone to help you rub it out when it’s so… intangible.
I’ll give you an example of the way that this happens for me. I was thinking about it yesterday because I was on the phone with a friend and was reminded of it. One day, several years ago, I was going over to a friend’s apartment to hang out. We were in the lobby, waiting on the elevator I think, and out of my peripheral I see two girls. These are the kinds of girls that I didn’t think I would like. They seemed snooty to me, maybe entitled and snobby. I focused on talking to my friend and not looking their way. Then, at some point, I had to look up, and I realized that I was in front of a wall of mirrors. The two girls I had seen were reflections of myself and my friend. I spent the next couple of days soul-searching and tackling my own prejudice. I was so floored by that experience that I think of it often when I find myself feeling judgmental or like I can just assess a situation just by my feelings. I am reminded to open my eyes widely and really look at things. But for real, this happens all the time.
Sometimes I’ll be in the middle of one of my growing pains, and I’ll be gushing to Jeff about "what it all means" and he’ll just laugh and smile and say something like "Wow, honey, you’ve really been thinking about this…" At that point I usually become a little bashful and thank him for being an ear. He’s always so sure to reassure me, to let me know that this is good. He told me the other day he thinks that humans have 3 main things to do in this life: Love, Procreate, and Question. I think I’m in agreement for the most part, although I think I’d change "procreate" to just plain "create".

And on to a load of pictures…

October 29th:

October 30th:
I just love leaves and frost and all of it.

October 31st:
This is my friend Rose taking Vera for a ride. I love how Vera’s hair looks like a bad comb-over lately. All of her new hair has come in, all strawberry blond, except for this one little long strip on the top that frequently blows in the wind and sticks straight up.

November 1st:

November 2nd:
My house is starting to look like this everywhere. Vera can pull things off shelves so we’ve got piles of books out of her reach throughout the house. Ah, soon it will be fully baby-proof.

November 3rd:
Gretchen’s partner, Obeth, is from Mexico. His mother is coming to stay with them for 5 months! She’s awesome, doesn’t speak a word of English, and we just love her. She embroidered all this stuff and let all of us pick what we liked. I’ve always had a thing for trumpet vines, so I picked this. It’s lovely.

November 4th:

November 5th:
Now that I watch John, nap time can get a little tricky. ESPECIALLY because the last time that I napped Vera in our bedroom I found her under the bed. Now, I was monitoring her and I swear I didn’t hear anything. She must’ve climbed out of her sleeper, across our bed, off of the bed without a thud, and then underneath it. I’m pretty sure the only reason she was crying was because she couldn’t figure out how to get out from under it. Otherwise she seemed happy. No bumps or anything! It was wild. So, needless to say, I don’t feel great about letting her sleep in there without me sleeping next to her. So, I nap her on the dog’s old bed that she never used. It actually works out well.

November 6th:
Camoflage doggy. Sooo snuggly.

November 7th:
Snack. I’m really loving dried fruit right now.

November 8th:
My lovely geraniums, blooming again.

Nov. 9th:
My brother came into town from Austin just for the weekend. It was great. I’ll probably talk more about it later, but it was just really really good to see him.

Nov. 10th:
SNOW!

Nov. 11th:
Um, sometimes the only word I can think of to describe her is "squishable".

Nov. 12th:
Crispy nuts. It’s a way of processing the raw nuts to get rid of their enzyme inhibitors. They are really delicious this way too. Read about it more here.

I’ve started exercising again, too. I mean, I have been doing the occasional yoga and pilates, and always walking, but I’m feeling really motivated lately to be fit. I don’t care about weight loss, I just want my heart strong and my energy levels to benefit. Okay, and it would be nice to slim down some- but I’m not making it an issue, it’s not healthy for me to think about it.

And of course it took me the whole day to finish this entry, but that’s the way it goes these days. 🙂

Quote of the day:

"Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce selfishness,
Have few desires."

-Lao-tzu