Muy bueno, no?
Second order of business: I am a human maker, it is confirmed. Yesterday I felt like my belly had grown inches in just a day or two, and I think it literally did. It felt kind of tight and uncomfortable all afternoon and I didn’t feel like moving too much. This morning I woke up with a headache, exhausted, and Jeff (the sweetheart that he is) insisted I take the day off. So I did. I couldn’t bear to just lay around all day so I ended up getting lots done, but it was really good for me to relax today. I swear though, I really popped now. I have a pregnant belly. It was kind of indiscernible for a little bit there, but now there’s no way to mistake it. See for yourself. I am 22 weeks today, so that means I’m a little over 5 months. Time is really flying.
I really have been enjoying all the little projects around the house lately. I know it isn’t the most glamorous of daily adventures, but I guess it just feels good to make changes sometimes, however small they are. Aside from the slipcovers… Jeff and I switched our bedroom to the back room (GREAT change). We got rid of my computer and Jeff’s desk and he’s currently building bookshelves in the spot that it used to be. Jeff is going to build a cabinet with doors to house the tv. I hated that our tv was just out in the open all the time, creating a kind of shrine in our living room. Now I can tuck it in the corner and forget about it for a day if I want to. We are turning the old bedroom into a sewing/art/baby stuff/everything room. It will be great. Shelving is going up all over the place. I am planning curtains. I think I’m nesting.
I wish I could find a way to connect to this baby. Sometimes all I feel is the pregnancy and myself, and I find it hard to commune the way that I want to. I know when I give birth I will have to meet sprout all over again. Sometimes it feels so distant. I know that I love him/her, but I don’t understand it really. This is such a new feeling I guess. Maybe I could write to it, or meditate and visualize it. I dunno. It kicks me all the time now. All day today was swim swim swim. That has been incredible, and I don’t mean for this to sound sad, I’m not sad. I guess it just feels sort of blank sometimes because I don’t know how to process it. I feel like I should be establishing a relationship, communicating, something… I think perhaps there is no way to prepare for this.
I’m going to bake myself an apple and watch a movie. Goodnight 🙂