Polliwog Farm

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Sometimes you just can’t do it all alone!

So, yesterday morning bright and early, I’m getting ready for class. The future pop-in-law comes hobbling out of his cave to greet me. He says something along the lines of “You guys aren’t gonna be around tonight, are ya?”
So I say no, but then naturally ask why, and he randomly starts talking about how hard it is to stay alive every day, and how he is planning to have this big talk with his wife about treating him better so that he doesn’t kill himself. He said quote: “She’s gonna have to learn how to be a good little wife from now on!”
I lost it. I couldn’t believe, first of all, that a freeloading alcoholic who has been selfish and exhausting would feel that way.… Continue Reading...

Cajun French… Oui Oui!

My brother made me this bizarre mix that I totally love. Sometimes I think he doesn’t know me at all, but then I remember that: ‘oh yeah, he’s my wonderful brother- of course he does.’ I just hope he remembers that I know him too.
I suppose it’s hard to feel connected to those that care for you ALL of the time. But once you get that moment of clarity, that “sehn sucht”, embrace it! Once you find a cool spot in the middle of your heated battle, relax, and trust that people are still good.
Yup! It’s the truth! Maybe we should just all pack our bags and live on a commune in Italy. We could all harvest grapes! Then, when we’d fight, we’d all throw grapes at each other and get really pissed off!… Continue Reading...

What a crazy and complicated world we live in!

Last night I had a date with my dad. It was fabulous. I feel like life has become this large salad bowl of opportunities. Wowsa!
We went and got really great Thai food first. Talked about school and life and what not. Then we went to see Sister Helen PreJean talk about the death penalty. oh my god, it was so inspirational! Buy her books, the money goes to support the cause.
Afterwards, my dad ran into an old friend of my mom and his. He started talking about the Seamless Garment movement (for those of you that don’t know- it is a radical non-violence movement). To preface this a little bit, this woman used to be a Dominican nun. During the course of the conversation, she became visibly uncomfortable with the idea of NO violence, ever.… Continue Reading...

SCRABBLE!!!

I just thought about it- can’t do it on Saturday! Sunday is better, even Friday… hmmm. I don’t mind if ya’ll do it without me so long as we can just do it again! Plus it’s really just an excuse to see your place:)
Anyhoo. I am booked for Saturday, and it’s a really good thing that i remembered before it was too late.
Say hello to poopoobutt for me!… Continue Reading...

why the struggle in my mind?

i’m debating whether or not to go and buy a pack. I’m having a bit of a physical withdrawal and I don’t feel well. This sucks. I feel like I lost that motivation that was so strong in me before. Why?
I heard that nicotine is harder to kick than heroin. What the fuck were they thinking selling it to people? Hmmm… thought bubble…$$$$$$$$$$$. I am angry about that. This is really sucky.… Continue Reading...

Whaaa!

I am quitting smoking again, and it feels good. Day one, in the bag. I’m fortunate because I quit for a while, then just socially smoked, and then just a once or twice a day thing. So I’m not plagued with physical withdrawal or anything- but I have a massive headache(that doesn’t go away with medicine or H2O. hmmm) and I am harboring a resentment against the tobacco companies. HAHA. What a laugh.

My issue is: if they had never made this HIGHLY addictive drug available to people daily, we wouldn’t know what we were missing. I think maybe you can only understand this if you’ve been a smoker: it’s like, now that you’ve been a smoker, you’re always a smoker at heart. The nature of addiction.… Continue Reading...

office politics…

I’m learning more and more about the “professional” world everday, and I have to say- it’s a little less than encouraging. I’ve been at this job for 2 years today. My anniversary! I am only a temp, but considering the length of my stay here and the bulk of my responsibilities, I feel involved enough to have opinions. There was a job opening here about a month and a half ago. They post the jobs internally at first- they like to give the people who have been here an opportunity to move up. So there was 1 guy who is more equipped for the job than any other person here, and he’s worked here for 5 years. So, no. he found out today that the job is going to a friend of one of the supervisors here.… Continue Reading...

plans, plans, plans!

So I just got all the info for the reception place. That’s exciting. I am very happy about how everything is progressing- yet I’m calm and collected and happy (who’d have thought). I guess all that stress will come pouring down later. yippee!

Jeff’s dad is drinking again. At least he’s not hiding it from us. I just wish that Jeff wasn’t so affected. I wish I could love him good enough to ease that pain. He acts like it’s nothing. But he’s totally sad about it all. He was SO excited when his dad said he was gonna quit. Now, he’s like “Welp, nothing much is different anyway.” And I’m sad that it has to be that way for him. I’m sad that he’s the one person in his family that sees the problem.… Continue Reading...

Happy Friday!!!

So I’m going to Folk Festival tonight!!! Jeff, and Annie, and my lovely older sis will be there with me. I swear, everytime I go to this I leave buzzing. Like there is a folk aura around me, and for weeks afterwards I am electric with folky love. Needless to say, I’m excited. So why did I say it if it was needless? Well, because some things are just plain fun to say. Such as “I’m excited”. Anyway, I’ve been at work tooooooooo looooonnnnnggg!
So I’ve gotta move all my shit out of the apartment tomorrow. How depressing. At least there will be friends there- including Diane (which is extra cool because I don’t think we’ve “hung out” in years)
Well, Jeff brought me lunch today and reminded me that life is great.… Continue Reading...