Polliwog Farm

Latest Posts

Whaaa!

I am quitting smoking again, and it feels good. Day one, in the bag. I’m fortunate because I quit for a while, then just socially smoked, and then just a once or twice a day thing. So I’m not plagued with physical withdrawal or anything- but I have a massive headache(that doesn’t go away with medicine or H2O. hmmm) and I am harboring a resentment against the tobacco companies. HAHA. What a laugh.

My issue is: if they had never made this HIGHLY addictive drug available to people daily, we wouldn’t know what we were missing. I think maybe you can only understand this if you’ve been a smoker: it’s like, now that you’ve been a smoker, you’re always a smoker at heart. The nature of addiction.… Continue Reading...

office politics…

I’m learning more and more about the “professional” world everday, and I have to say- it’s a little less than encouraging. I’ve been at this job for 2 years today. My anniversary! I am only a temp, but considering the length of my stay here and the bulk of my responsibilities, I feel involved enough to have opinions. There was a job opening here about a month and a half ago. They post the jobs internally at first- they like to give the people who have been here an opportunity to move up. So there was 1 guy who is more equipped for the job than any other person here, and he’s worked here for 5 years. So, no. he found out today that the job is going to a friend of one of the supervisors here.… Continue Reading...

plans, plans, plans!

So I just got all the info for the reception place. That’s exciting. I am very happy about how everything is progressing- yet I’m calm and collected and happy (who’d have thought). I guess all that stress will come pouring down later. yippee!

Jeff’s dad is drinking again. At least he’s not hiding it from us. I just wish that Jeff wasn’t so affected. I wish I could love him good enough to ease that pain. He acts like it’s nothing. But he’s totally sad about it all. He was SO excited when his dad said he was gonna quit. Now, he’s like “Welp, nothing much is different anyway.” And I’m sad that it has to be that way for him. I’m sad that he’s the one person in his family that sees the problem.… Continue Reading...

Happy Friday!!!

So I’m going to Folk Festival tonight!!! Jeff, and Annie, and my lovely older sis will be there with me. I swear, everytime I go to this I leave buzzing. Like there is a folk aura around me, and for weeks afterwards I am electric with folky love. Needless to say, I’m excited. So why did I say it if it was needless? Well, because some things are just plain fun to say. Such as “I’m excited”. Anyway, I’ve been at work tooooooooo looooonnnnnggg!
So I’ve gotta move all my shit out of the apartment tomorrow. How depressing. At least there will be friends there- including Diane (which is extra cool because I don’t think we’ve “hung out” in years)
Well, Jeff brought me lunch today and reminded me that life is great.… Continue Reading...

Something you all should know about the lorax…

http://www.geekteacher.net/lorax.html

Yes, indeed, I own a thneed. It really is something that everyone needs.

So the wedding is moving along really nicely. I was nervous that I wouldn’t know what I wanted(I can be a little indecisive and passive at times) but I’m doing fine. It’s gonna be really fun and non-traditional. Plus, I get to marry the most wonderful man in the world- so of course it’s not hard planning this.(He’s got a beard, Marya 😉
My aunt’s surgery went perfectly. So perfect, in fact, that she may have a chance. We are all ecstatic and thankful. So thanks higher power for that one.
ummm, no affirmation today, but the story should suffice.

Quote of the day:
“Insane people are always sure that they are fine.… Continue Reading...

cigarettes, and life, and breath, and coffee, and cigarettes…

FUCK! I almost had it too. I caved yesterday and bought a pack. I feel icky about it, but at the same time I know that if I don’t really mentally quit, then I won’t. Sucks though. I have new shame associated with it. I feel like hiding whenever I have one. I think I might use the 12 steps to quit this time. They never fail if you do them right.
Well, it would help if all of my friends quit. I don’t even think about it if I’m not around it… but when I am! golly. The sick part of me is happy about the fact that it’s an appetite suppressant. That’s the sick part of me though. I can’t really see any other plus, besides that I’ll get to smoke.… Continue Reading...

Relax everybody, nothing has changed as of right now…

So the way that I’m thinking about it is: yesterday he was president and so is he today. One day at a time people. The stuff that’s aggravating to me is that people get all extra pissed off on certain days. What about all the others? This is what makes me think that we are all talk and no action.
We only feel passionate about it when the time is good and right. Bummer, friends. If we want anything to change we need to think up an actually feasable plan. then we have to take steps to execute that plan. then the plan will be executed, and we will have done something. Until then, i think that we shouldn’t spend any of our time being pissed off because the only reason that we should be is because of our own laziness.… Continue Reading...

i am not superman… no siree!

Well, as much as I wanted to tackle the world in one shot, I don’t think I can do it. I had planned to work, school, and volunteer at Ozone, and move in 2.5 weeks. I just don’t have time for all of it. I have to give up one, and unfortunately the only one that can go is the volunteering. I guess they have another training in the summer, but i’m bummed anyhow. Well, take it in stride girl! I need to remember that this is my 1st semester back at school in a couple of years, and I need to focus on that a little more than I’d like to. Patience is key. i just really wanna do whatever I wanna!!!!!!

Affirmation: (drumroll please:)
[spirit]

I DESERVE LOVE AND RESPECT BECAUSE I GIVE THEM.… Continue Reading...

it’s my lover’s birthday….

And I swear I’m more excited than he is. I just am overwhelmed with how grateful I am that he’s born. I just love him so MUCH!!!
Ok, that’s over, phew! Sometimes the mushy disgusting stuff just creeps up on you and you’ve gotta let it spurt. Gross. Anyhow, life is interesting as usual. I have been feeling great about the start of school, except not that great about the $400 it cost to get the fucking books. Yeah. One book cost $120. It’s criminal and I think there should be a better way.
I found out my aunt is dying. She’s got pancreatic cancer, and it’s a form that leaves little hope for those affected. Of the 29,000 that are diagnosed each year, only 100 live to see the next 12 months.… Continue Reading...

hmmm… time taken to process

I suppose I’ve been fortunate in the sense that I do not make enemies. Ever really. And anyone who has been my friend in the past is still my friend, even if we are on separate paths and we don’t see each other much. Except lately, I’ve actually lost some people. I guess it’s just been sort of a shocker. I think there is an “after shock” too. I’ve been unsure of my other friends too. I think that it will be a valuable thing to learn- that my life needs to be filled with people who support and love me and not with people who are abusive and require so much of my energy that I don’t have enough for myself. And it’s ok for me to reinvent my life if I need to.… Continue Reading...